I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
