my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize