I look better un-naked...
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
