It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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