So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
