Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize