But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
