Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
