cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
