Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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