Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
