the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
