just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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