And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
