I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
