his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
