So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize