drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
