all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize