Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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