Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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