I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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