Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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