I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
