remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Randomize
