i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
