kristin has been a bad kristin
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
