apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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