Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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