Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
it's like heaven, but drunker
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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