Pappa wants mamma naked
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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