i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
