Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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