The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
