The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
