20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
