He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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