my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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