Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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