He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
