whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize