I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
