i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize