I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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