he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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