I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
