he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i drank out of a bidet.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
