I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
