Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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