did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
