I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
