Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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