Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize