One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
