i permit you to call me
kristin has been a bad kristin
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize