so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
