Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
