why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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