Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
