I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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