im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize