What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize