i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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