he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
