ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
