Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
