i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize
