Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
