Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
