Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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